Being A Woman

This evening as I left work, I was in a good mood. It was drizzling slightly and I simply love the rains. I usually take an auto back home but I saw the bus approaching which goes to my home, I decided to hop in. Happy that it was mostly empty, I got a window seat in the left aisle and sat down.

Sitting behind me were two men, one who seemed half asleep and the other just sitting nonchalantly. As soon as I kept my rucksack (yes I carry a rucksack to work!) on my lap, I felt a hand move, trying to touch my back. Now living in a city like Delhi, you always feel that you are about to be groped, especially in a bus. I got a little wary though giving benifit of doubt to the men behind me. I mentally chided myself for imagining things as I continued to enjoy the scenery outside, lush green trees and a beautiful evening sky. Suddenly I felt a hand groping my back. Not a hand carelessly brushing past my back, a hand which purposely touched me. I turned back to address the culprit. One man was sitting with his hands folded and the other was asleep. I couldn't figure out who did that to me.

I turned towards my right now, almost facing the right aisle and in the corner of my eye I could see the movement of hands of both men. I was fuming from inside, feeling humiliated and treated like an object of someone's pleasure. Ten minutes later, the supposedly sleeping man did the same thing again.

Unable to control my fury, I got and up pulled his hair, so he could face me and slapped him. I told him to keep his hands to himself and after his protest that he was not doing anything wrong, I slapped him again. Everyone in the bus was looking at me, this was like a free ka tamasha for all and not a single person stood up to support me. Not that I expected anyone to.

After the fury subsided, I felt scared. What if he would have whipped out a knife or a pistol? What he comes tomorrow with four other men and tries to take 'revenge'? My pepper spray or karate moves will be of no help at all. Police inaction is well known too. It is this fear that mostly stops women from speaking out.

And even though incidents like this cannot break my spirit, as a woman living in this country I wonder how many will I feel violated and agonized? How many times will I retaliate and how many times will I fight? How many times will I keep quiet? Will I ever be able to use the public transport without feeling wary, without being on guard? Will I be able to walk on the streets without prying eyes looking at me? Will I ever be free?

P.S : I hope he learnt his lesson well and will never try to grope another woman ever. If he hasn't... there is no hope for this country.

You all can check out fellow blogger Blog C's post which is an offshoot of this post.

This post is part of Blank Noise's initiative for the International Women's Day 2007. For more check out their blog.

Originally posted on Thursday, July 20, 2006 9:06 PM

Do They Make This Kind Anymore?

This post is dedicated to a friend. Somehow after participating in the blog-a-thon and reading experiences of so many women and men across the board, my thoughts flew to you.

It seems appropriate that I dedicate this post to a guy, who at the risk of been a social outcast would not disrespect women. He would not be the part of the 'cool gang' or try to 'fit in' with the rest of guys because these so called cool people would do ‘cool’ things like disrespecting women. Because sometimes words, roving eyes and the vibes can be as violating as a dirty physical touch.

I have called you ‘uptight’ at times. Asked you why you can't gel around with people. But you just shrugged it off saying you have better things to do.

I have respected you for being that guy who would not succumb to peer pressure. Whose one look would quiet anyone. Who practices what he preaches. Who respects women the old fashioned way. Yet treats them like an equal.

You may not be the chivalrous man, always teasing that since men and women are equal, I should pay for our meal. This been the only argument I have ever lost. I can proudly say today that I know a person like you.

I wonder if they make ‘em like you anymore.

Orignally posted on Wednesday, March 08, 2006 4:31 PM

Woman

Her boss doesn’t look at her face when he talks. He looks about 6 inches south and talks to a different body part. It doesn’t matter that her vocal chords and the brain aren’t situated there. She may be wearing a suit, decently covering her or a shirt. It doesn’t make a difference.

Or he coos to her, “Don’t call me sir. Call me by my name.” He brushes past her and pretends like it was an accident.

He calls her to his cabin or asks her to stay late. Then without any guilt, he asks her for ‘favours’ so she can get her well-deserved promotion.

There are times she keeps quiet and takes it all. At other times, she raises her voice. People say that maybe her character is flawed and she asked for it. The man is obviously allowed to get away with harassment.

Welcome to the workplace, girl. Your fight for dignity, equality and respect continues. It starts from the moment you are born and it continues throughout your life.

You can don any hat – of a daughter, mother, wife, sister, juggle housework with office work and yet be called the weaker one.

You forget your inner strength sometimes. Or are made to forget it.

This is for all the stronger sex aka men-
One last thing, be man enough to be labelled as the "fun-spoiling" guy (read Spark’s post for the reference to context).

To recognize Women's Day, a blogathon was being organized for Tuesday, the 7th of March 2006. Blank Noise is asking bloggers to put up a post about their opinions and experiences of sexual harassment - as a victim, perpetrator, observer or bystander - at work, at home or in the public sphere. Some of my fellow O3 bloggers Jitu, Maya, Sapphire, Savy, Surabhi, Smile Girl, Spark, Scarlett, Sumit, Wild Child, Techie, Tejbir, Sunny and Maxx have already done their bit. I tag everyone - man and woman to put up their posts.

Originally posted on Tuesday, March 07, 2006 11:38 AM